A Year in Review

As I sit here waiting for the water to boil for my afternoon cup of tea my mind begins to think about all that has occurred this past year. It was this time last year I sat in a very lonely place. We’d experienced a mountain of change and transition in a very short amount of time.  Our family had grown, my husband changed jobs, we started homeschooling, started attending a new church, and the list goes on. I sat in this place of change and transition tired and energized all at the same time. You see, I knew God was up to something. He moved so many pieces and shifted so many things that I knew He was on the move, preparing the way for us, and preparing us for the journey. The mountain of change that we faced required a lot of faith. It required me and my husband to be a unified front, being on the same page, line, and letter. We tried to “pray” our way out of some decisions and God wouldn’t budge.  He said move and so we did. The familiar comforts and places were so hard to step away from, but we knew we didn’t want to miss God, His calling and will for us. So we obeyed.

The changes that we faced of course came with their own set of hurt and heartache, and were certainly accompanied by their own set of losses. However, we knew, without a doubt, that we were doing what God had called us to do. We were tired of the same circular race that we had been running for years. We had a hunger for God and knew that He was about to show us Himself in new ways and do new things in us. We were ready to get to work.

However, for me, I had a particularly difficult time trying to discern what God’s will for ME was in this season of life. What did He want me to be doing? I knew He was calling me, first to Himself, to seek Him and know Him, and second to make Him known. I also knew that He has blessed me beyond measure with two amazing little girls who I have the privilege of staying home with and homeschooling. Was that all He wanted from me? If so, then awesome. I consider it my greatest joy and privilege to be a mom. I wasn’t ever sure if it was possible to do more and take on more in this season.  You see I was like a small girl in front of an enormous dam with her finger in this tiny hole, holding back an unfathomable flood of the Holy Spirit, just because I didn’t think it was “my time”. The more I stood in this place of uncertainty the more I knew that no matter what my circumstances were, God’s provision would always be Faithful, and that His calling was for RIGHT NOW.  There would be no more days sitting disheartened wanting to be doing more,  no more days filled with anxiety over my inability to be about anything other than the privilege of caring for my home and family. He made us, me and you, to do things far greater than our mind would ever conceive as possible.

So what did I do??? I began to seek God, get into His Word, Pray and Fast. No more sitting on the sidelines waiting for anything to fall in my lap. I sought out to be discipled by a Godly Woman. I needed someone who would challenge me, encourage me, and teach me to do hard things and do them scared. I needed someone who exemplified what it looked like to love Jesus and follow His call no matter the cost. I needed someone who was real and authentic and reveled in the unending grace of our Father. I needed someone who would pour into me and wanted me to experience all that God has for me, and that is exactly what I got. I cannot even begin to express how thankful I am for this past year, the encouragement, challenges, friendship, prayers, and tears that have been invested.  Through being discipled and invested in, God has become more precious and dear to me than He ever was in the past 33 years that I have been in church. My affection for Him is often more than I can bear. I have experienced a REVIVAL, a new season of growth and life is taking place in my life. I have had to step out in Faith and believe God for words to share with my International friends. I’ve had to pray and believe God for a move of the miraculous in my family and the families of my friends. I have had to believe God that I am BELOVED and chosen by Him “FOR SUCH A TIME AS THIS”. I have had to face some ugly truths about how I was living and the lies I had come to believe as truth. I’ve had to step out in BLIND faith and do some hard things and do them scared, BUT, without fail God in His great mercy and faithfulness has met me every step of the way. He was and is there every step of the journey.

Being a disciple is no easy thing. It’s a full on pursuit of Jesus, His Holiness, Love, and a life of surrender. A life lived in longing and pursuit to be Like Him and For Him. It’s a call to get your finger out of the dam and allow the Holy Spirit to invade and do with you what He will. Life is not perfect or easy. My husband and I still fight and my kids drive me crazy, my words fall short all the time, and I royally screw up a lot, but God meets me with such grace in every moment and in every step. He has Redeemed me, Restored me, and made me whole. He has Revived my soul and He calls me His own.

Dedicated to the women who have journeyed with me these past 33 years and taught me what it is to Love the Father and Follow Jesus.