The Thrill of Being Disciplined

I know the title of this post may seem a bit strange but it is a perfect description of where I’ve been recently. Let me elaborate. Tonight I had the opportunity to meet with a good friend and share my heart with her. We talked for what seemed like minutes but it was most definitely hours. I opened up with her about some of the fears I have been dealing with. I’m not talking about a fear of heights, spiders, or snakes even though I FEAR those as well, but what I am talking about is a paralyzing fear; something that just terrifies you to the core of who you are. Right now God is taking me on a journey of overcoming the fears that are entangling me and freeing me to live in the liberty of who HE has created ME to be.

This is scary to say the least. However, there is one thing that God has faced me in front of, something that has wounded me beyond belief and changed the very essence of who I am. Something I thought I had dealt with a long time ago and He is calling me to overcome and be made WHOLE and ALIVE. In this particular fear, He is calling me to action to overcome, to do the very thing I fear the most at this point in my life, and I just can’t. I have looked God in the face and said “NO”, not out of a heart of rebellion, but out of shear terror. I love God and desire to overcome this with everything that is in me, but I AM AFRAID…FROZEN in fright. I know that God desires to restore me to a place of WHOLENESS, but it is the hardest thing I’ve ever faced. As I write this it has been about 3 weeks since I was called to obedience and 3 weeks that I have said “NO”. During the past weeks I’ve have been disciplined and chastened like I have never known before.

Now some reading this might not understand what I mean, and honestly I didn’t understand fully until now. Let me just say that we serve such an AMAZING WONDERFUL GOD that deeply desires the very best for us, so much so that He is willing to discipline us into a place of submission.

I have never experienced such a thing before. In the past several weeks one thing after another keeps happening: sickness, broken IPHONE, things lost that I know exactly where I placed them, discord in my home…I could go on and on, and yet my disobedience remains. Even though I am working through this stronghold in my life it is so exciting to know that my SAVIOR loves ME. He loves me enough to call me unto Himself when I am unwilling or unable to meet Him at the cross.

I know that God desires me, to make me WHOLE, and to bless me beyond my wildest imagination. I know that He is pursuing me, and that is what is exciting. The actual discipline, not so much, but just knowing that MY GOD loves ME so much that He will discipline me until I am in a place where HE can use me, grow me, and bless me. I pray that my frozen feet will begin to move in belief of what God has for me.

Follow Up:
I wrote this post a couple of weeks ago, and since I’ve begun to experience such a freedom in my life. What I have been afraid of was so much bigger and worse and ugly than what reality actually was. I am still a work in progress in dealing with this stronghold, but God is enabling me to begin to experience freedom. Just remember this about Fear:
False
Evidence
Appearing
Real
My Prayer for my readers is that we would be able to break free from these lies, preconceived, or misconceived ideas and live in the freedom that God desires for us.