Tied Up Tight

Okay, so it has been a while since I’ve written a post. I’ve been really well intentioned in the last several weeks, but never very intentional. I’ve had several topics that I’ve wanted to broach, but right now those will have to wait.

Right now, I want to talk about what I’ve been learning in my Wednesday morning Bible Study of Ruth. Ruth is by far one of my favorites and if you haven’t studied it you should. It is AWESOME, but I digress.

Anyway, during our study we have talked a lot about Loss, Love, and Legacy. We’ve been asked to do some real “soul” searching, and become very vulnerable and honest with ourselves. We’ve been asked to write our story and share the journey that God has us on. To be REAL with you…it has been extremely difficult. I feel like I’ve been put in the middle of nowhere, with only a can of beans and a spoon. How am I supposed to get this thing opened??? I’ve prayed and asked God to open me up, but nothing seems to happen. Honestly, I feel like I am asking the wrong thing, so much so I’ve been asking to be broken. (NOT ONE OF MY FAVORITE THINGS TO PRAY). I’ll put it to you this way… I feel like I’m tied up tighter than the prom queen going to her 25th high school reunion. What is my deal?!?! I want to be FREE, but Freedom requires effort and work.

I know right now I am in an incredible time of Harvest. God is doing amazing things in my marriage and in the lives of me and my husband. God is blessing my friendships abundantly more than I could ever think or ask. God is opening doors for me to be involved in the ministries of my church and in the lives of others. SO WHAT IS MY DEAL!!! My deal is that in the midst of the Harvest I’ve gotten LAZY. Corrie Ten Boom said it best “You don’t realize Jesus is all you need, until Jesus is all you have”. Well, I’ve forgotten. I’ve forgotten how He has seen me through my darkest most desperate moments. I’ve forgotten about His provision and faithfulness. My momentary Desperation has been met, but something deep inside longs for more. In a time of abundance I know that He still has a story for me, and I’ve gotten lazy in pursuit of it. I mean I’ve still gone through the motions just like I always do, but I’ve not remained dependant upon or desperate for that deep intimate relationship He desires for us.

So What Now??? I need to start by having some REAL conversations with God. What is in me that He wants OUT!!! OR what am I putting into me that He wants GONE!!! That is hard to write, because I like the way that I do things and I have a nice little routine of life. BUT we have to start somewhere. WE HAVE TO GET REAL BEFORE GOD OVER AND OVER AND OVER AGAIN. I want the story He has for me. I mean if it is anything like what He is blessing me right now with then I can’t even imagine what else He has in store. GOD wants us JUST THE WAY WE ARE…PERFECTLY IMPERFECT. He knows all our secrets, everything we are ashamed of and everything we hope to be. If we just open up ourselves and trust that “GOD IS GOD and WE ARE NOT” then I promise God’s provision will abound in your life and mine.